In the road of destiny,
Many a new relations
Will appear out of nowhere…
Many a relations will vanish
But mom, in this world of
You are the first heart who
Loved me without
Any expectation. And still
Love me, even after all
Your expectations has been
Broken. By me.
Mom, you’ve beaten me a thousand times, and I still remember them. Not the scars it left — because you had never beaten me severely enough to leave a scar — but the lessons that stayed with me. Yes, I have cursed my luck back then, when you did so, cursed the world and everything else out there, but as time knocked on my doors and years swiftly traversed, I have learnt to appreciate you, and appreciate it. Stupidly, I have thought it would have been better to have someone else as a mom, but then, stupidity is a disease in young years I’d acquired. As I become a little less stupid, I realized it would have never been the same without you.
There are times when I lied without thinking about the consequence. I had lied about ‘why I came late from aunt’s house’. Lied about the ‘scratch I got on my knees’. Lied about the ‘low score I got in Math’. Lied about many things, and the moment you know that I had been lying, you would look at me with anger in your eyes. And disappointment. I knew I had to run away from the place, to save myself from a lashing in the back. And had been frustrated with that result. I didn’t like to get yelled up. Nor did I want a stick in my back.
‘What’s the big deal? It is just a small lie, and she was acting like a tyrant.’ Yes, I had thought the same line many times in my life. What’s the big deal, really? The lies were not anything that would end this world.
Had you thought the same, and ignored them as a defect of age, and childishness, I wouldn’t have ever realized the true face of lies, later on. I would have continued to live in the lies, still thinking ‘what’s the big deal?’
But… After your angry tirades, your advises and yes, of course, the lashings, I have learnt one valuable lesson: that lies would never solve anything. Lies, in fact, kill the humanity within us. Honesty, on the other hand, save souls and pour light. Thanks mom, for sculpting me into becoming a better person.
Yes, it’s true. That proverb… ‘Old habits die hard…’ If it hadn’t been you, teaching me in every step about the right and the wrong, I would have believed all my wrongs were the right. Because no one had taken an effort to say otherwise. But, you saved me from that, and saved my life.
When I was young, eager to see the world in any way I could, you were the one, who was like an anchor to me, keeping me ashore when needed. You had protected me from being washed away by bad tides of life. You secured me, educated me and made sure that I was moulded into a perfect pot, not leaving any defective holes. It was you who made me become who I am today. Without you, I’d have been lost in a different, bad dimension.
I remembered this day… Even now. It was a Ramadan night, and I had received my Math paper in the morning. The score, like every time, was worse. During the night prayer, standing faraway from you, I yelled, ‘I got 94.’
You glared at me. You knew I was lying, but you couldn’t say anything, because the place was filled with people.
Then my cousin shouted again, ‘Put the last number first and first number last, and you got it.’
Yes, I was weak in Math, and yes, I got 49. You continued to glare throughout and I was sure I was going to die that day. I cursed Maths for all the trouble it brought me. Back at home, though, your glare had melted. You sat with me, and asked me why I didn’t get a good mark.
I said, ‘I can’t understand Math. No matter what. It’s just so difficult for me.’
‘I’ll join you in a tuition.’ You said. And I started going to tuition. It was funny, how a girl who had been sitting on 15th place in all the exams, bagged 2nd rank in the final exam. It had started my fire to study. Once a lousy student had become an interested one after I realized it was hard to pay for my tuition money, back then. Yet, you did it. You did it, for me, and how could I not repay for that kindness???
It was surprising how I became better at Math in the coming years and finished my twelfth standard with a 200 out of 200. But how could I not repay, mom, when you desired my success. How could I not, mom, when all you wanted back from me is “my” victory.
That day I understood that lying would never be a solution for anything.
You knew what I need, even before I knew it. You had taken all the steps to make me into a better person, in studies, and in life. You have strived hard, along with me, to reach my destination. You supported me through it all, and took all the burnt of my bad deeds. It’s hard not to feel grateful for a mom like you, though I don’t often vocalize it.
After the twelfth, I wanted to study BE. Dad was opposing it. He didn’t want to let me study BE. And I lied that I didn’t have to study BE, after realizing money had become a problem in home. But you stood with me, fought for me, and finally, I was able to study what I wished to. I knew, it was still hard to pay half a lack every year, but you said that it would be alright. It did become alright, after the scholarship money from Government.
You’ve tried so hard to shape me to become a honest human being, a better human being, but on the other side, you spoiled me and continued to treat me like the wannabe princess I was… And I enjoy it… Being spoilt by you!
You’ve educated me on all the important and needed things in life. You’ve taught me about the value of honesty, in all they way you could, and now, this girl I am today, is really thankful to Almighty God, for having blessed me with a mother like you. I might not deserve such a big blessing, but still, God has showered me with you.
I love you mom….