‘Fuzzy Muzzy Magic – #MagicOfWarmth!‘
Tale of a sleepless night, achy body and a warm, snuggly hug from my angel!
‘Motherhood is beyond any magic. Every day, a new gift, a new blessing. But… Nights. Oh, nights. I wish you never greet me…’ – Me!
Getting my eleven months old baby boy to sleep is a tedious job. Sometimes it will become more difficult than anything else. I had to walk (or sometimes jog) for an hour or two to get him to close his little, ever fresh eyes. And then… when I put him to bed, he’d wake up and continue to be active… as if the two hours of walking wasn’t enough and I had to walk another two hours.
So… it was one of those nights, where I just can’t bear it anymore. My body was begging me to sleep. Every bones and joints were hurting and there was someone knocking from the inside of my skull. Headachy and grumpy, I walked with my baby boy in my shoulder. His eyes were as clear as it was at the daytime. And I was getting angry.
My back was complaining, my legs were making noises and I was tired to my bones. It was so difficult by then, just to walk and tears were falling down my cheeks as I sang him lullabies after lullabies with a croaky throat. I couldn’t even wipe the tears away, for I was afraid he would become alert. Just begging him to Sleep, I walked and finally… he slept.
So I prayed to God to not wake him up before I gently laid him on his pillow. With my pillows ready, I was going to lie down when he started stirring. My heart beat went louder anf my body screamed with panic. No, I can’t. God. No.
I was very angry by then. I wanted to shout.
But what he did next completely made me shut up. It made me forget all the aches in my body and my teary eyes were filled with more tears, but this time it was from happiness. Head ache vanished and my tired eyes shone with so much joy.
What did he do that made me feel so warm, that I melted like a puddle of snow in front of the golden rays of Sun?
My Muzzy was whispering ‘mma‘ and at the same time his little hands were searching for something. When he found what he was looking for… that was me (and that melted me completely), he laid one small hand over my cheek and another over my heart right where it beats, before he snuggled right into my blanket and closer to my warmth. When I whispered ‘ssh’ he gave me a very small, but very powerful sleepy smile before he went back to a deep sleep.
And yes… My anger melted as well along with my sleepiness that I stayed awake and uncomfortable for a long time (the position was very awkward to maintain) looking at his beautiful, angelic face until he decided to turn away from me to snuggle back into his pillow.
God. It was so beautiful that no magic can overcome that. Except maybe one!
Exactly as it was like this… but this time the little being was inside.
I was angry. I was crying. I had a fight with hubby and I felt so alone. I was pregnant.
Alone and feeling terrible, I was sitting in the darkness, wondering why life was this cruel, why there was no one who I could lean on… when my Muzzy moved inside me. As sweet as a flutter of butterfly wings. As gentle as a breeze.
For the first time. As if he wanted to say… ‘momma, I am right here!’
That was something I wouldn’t forget, I couldn’t forget.
It was a happy balm to my achy heart.
and this guy, this little guy makes me so happy beyond anything that as LIFE pulls me down, when it become too hard to manage, now, I sit there and think… yes, there are happy days, heart-melting moments as well! And so, life is not that cruel to me!!!
Have a look at this beautiful video->