Thanks for the memory of first love…
The autumn breeze and orange leaves, the melody of the broken crunch beneath the feet, sunset trees swinging in the wind, the music of the autumnal birds… Nature, at its magnificent. Beauty, unsullied.
I remember it, still, the magic in the winds… The spell put upon the air… Dizzy, drowning magic. Fairytale in its rarest.
Lost in your smile, our fingers clasped… A journey I cherished, through and through. And desired for it to last. A lifetime, and another.
Your eyes locked in mine, wandering soul tied in place for a while, an endless destination, eternal possibilities… Happiness, the only realm I wished to exist. Your gentle kisses, the only reprieve.
You promised, to love and to hold, through it all… You vowed, to be with me. Through summer and winter and next autumn. Through sickness and health. Through high hilltop and low valleys…
Believed, I did. In your promises. Why shouldn’t I? You’re the first one I loved, first one I trusted, first one I valued. I believed, in all those sweet vows.
Our autumn journey, I thought, would be ceaseless, and said so to you. You never said otherwise, accepted all my dreams… My dreams of a home amidst the wilderness, spring trees necklaced with colorful flowers, morning sunshine leaking gold inside our curtains, steaming aroma of Arabian coffee bean… Yes, you smiled, nodded, and I believed.
‘What a dream! What a beautiful dream! Fantástico! Fantastic!!!’ You would smile and I would fall in love, again ‘I will make all your dreams come alive.’ I trusted, wholeheartedly.
I floated, in bliss… Lived in a hazy dream. Danced, bounced, steps peppy and energetic.
One autumn evening, you said you’ve to go. Job, you reasoned.
I didn’t doubt. I whispered kisses over your face and said my goodbye, never realizing this goodbye was for forever.
And seasons passed, a blur of shadows. Lonely mornings greeted… Golden rays glinted in my tears. The songs became melancholic.
Autumn to spring, and then winter knocked. Cold with fear, iced in snow, I stared… Through empty patch, endless white… Colorless trees, frozen in stance. No breezy whisper, no birdsong.
I sat alone, watching, waiting, though I know… You will never be back for me.
With autumn, I know, you have walked away, carrying the songs, the dance, the beauty and all your promises. Oh, I know, you lied… Oh, I know your love is a lie, and will always be. And, I don’t resent, not now.
But sometimes, I still do watch every autumn, carrying scent of new leaves, carrying music of new birds, and wonder what I will do if you ever come back…
I watch… Autumn, spring, winter, summer, watch it all… And am still waiting, heart in my throat, thirst in my veins… Though decades have hurried away, I still wait…
For that autumn day… For you to come back…
Just so that I can say… ‘Thanks for that memory of first love.’